Change or be changed.

Change in appearance is a fun, low-risk option.

Change happens to you whether you welcome it or not. However, taking an active role in making life changes can be beneficial. If circumstances can lead to and result in predictable behaviors and reactions, then could the logic follow that behaviors and actions result in specific circumstances? I’ve never been a “think positive thoughts and great things will happen” kind of girl. It’s a bunch of bullshit I think.


But what about behaviors? Can changing actions or behaviors then lead to positive circumstances and maybe a feel-good side effect? That’s something I can get behind.

I just came across an article that tickled my gray matter. How to Change Your Life in 30 Days, by Benjamin Hardy, discusses the concepts of self-signaling (change your behavior to change your perception of your identity) and precognition (behaviors and thoughts can lead to predictable internal states to enact change). I won’t discuss the article further, but I recommend you read it.

One’s perception of their identity can be changed through behavior.

Most change-your-life advice out there seems to preach willpower. Pick one desired new action/activity, make it a habit by repeating it, and then you have permanent change. Perhaps changing behavior for the sake of achieving a desired identity (a cool writer chick and not a sad reject) and a better internal state (i.e. not fucking miserable) is a more productive and comprehensive approach.


I’ve done lots of reflecting on what life change means and what it takes to achieve it. It can be reasonably assumed that people desire change for the better and since the only thing we can control in life is our own actions, that’s a good place to start.


The army forces change on me approximately every three years. Physically moving to a new geographic location is significant and brings with it new routines and behaviors. I’ve sometimes thought of it as a good chance to start over. Other times, those moves bring out the worst due to the stress of it all. Any reader of my blog knows that last year’s move was one such time. I allowed circumstances, and actions of one individual, to change me and not for the better. I can’t go back and do anything to reverse the shame and utter humiliation of that time period, but I can examine and determine what gets written on the blank slate before me.


Identity and precognition. Who do I want to be and what actions do I take to get the intended results?  It’s really, really nice to have the appetite for reflecting on such things again. 🙂


2 thoughts on “Agency

  1. I read every one of your posts. I find them insightful and open, revealing the kinds of struggles I think everyone wrestles with, but don’t have the strength to share. I always walk away from the computer considering your musings and intending to respond. A day or two passes and the world steals much of my time. Then you post again and I start the process all over. Your challenges resonate with me. You are not alone. Carry on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It really means a lot. I know I’m putting it all out there, but why not? I strive for honesty and authenticity in my writing and I have to keep practicing. Not too many people read this blog, but I’m grateful for those who do!


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